Cravings

Like I wrote in the "Several Years Later" post, I occasionally get cravings and think about getting high. After so many years of not using, it would probably feel amazing. But those good feelings won't last long. What will last will be the obsession, using once then thinking about it constantly then being right back out there.

I wanted to use yesterday. Being a single mom, my life is usually pretty stressful. Between not being able to find a job and having my kids almost constantly, I want to rip my hair out most days. I was close to texting Jim yesterday to tell him to come get the kids because I was going to go get a bag. Luckily, no matter how stressed I am, the thoughts don't last long. The key for me is, and always has been, to keep my hands busy, specifically my hands. I like to make things, whether it's sewing something or cooking, knitting or crocheting, or even writing, if my hands are busy, I'm usually okay.

We all have stressors and triggers. We just need to figure out what they are and how to avoid them. Or, if it's impossible to avoid, we just need to learn how to work around them. I've found my way. Do my ways always work for me? No, but when one method fails, I try the next.