After finding out Jim's secret, I had a big decision to sleep on. I didn't want drugs in my life. I didn't speak with my daughter's father because of heroin and I had just stopped talking to my best friend that past January because of it. I hated drugs. I didn't want them in my life. I had a daughter who was turning 2 in a month. I didn't want her exposed to that. He drove me to school on Monday. As I was climbing out of the truck, he told me he loves me. I didn't know what to say. Did I love him? Yes but I didn't realize it then.
On Monday night, Jim slept over my house. He woke up and left for work before I got up for school. He left his pants in my room - along with two sets of works (needles). I balled them up and threw them to the side. I figured I'd just give them to him when he was done work. I would be at school and my daughter would be at daycare so she wouldn't be able to accidentally get to the needles. I had left my phone in the hallway that night so I didn't hear it when Jim called me at 6:30 in the morning.
I listened to the voicemail that was left. I could hear sirens and a woman talking. I heard the woman ask if someone was okay and saying to stay awake. I started trying to call Jim. From the time I heard the voicemail until I got to school for my first class, I must've called and texted Jim's phone at least 100 times. Obviously, there was no answer and no response to the texts. When I got home from school, I went on my computer and had a message on Facebook from my friend Jim, the one who introduced us. He asked me to call him.
My hands were shaking as I looked up the entry for Jim in my phone. I was so afraid of what he was going to tell me. When he answered his phone, he told me that Jim had come to work high as a kite and their foreman sent him home. As he was driving up Lehigh Ave (I like to think he was on his way to my house but I don't know if he was on his way to buy more heroin), he accidentally drove through a red light. His truck, which wasn't even a year old, was totaled. They had to cut him out of it. The woman I heard in the voicemail was an emergency responder. Jim was in the hospital but our friend Jim didn't know which one.
The first hospital I called was Temple. I called there because the ambulance always liked to take people there, even though the hospitals downtown are closer. He wasn't there. The next hospitals on my list were Hanhemann, Jefferson, and Penn. Luckily, I didn't have to make too many calls. He was at Hanhemann. I headed there as soon as I got off the phone.
When I got to the hospital and was told what floor and room Jim was in, I headed up. As I began to pass the rooms on his floor, I saw a cop in one of the first rooms. My heart dropped...but it wasn't him. I kept going. When I found his room, there were doctors and nurses in there with him. He was hooked up to a whole bunch of tubes and machines and it scared the shit out of me. It brought back memories from when I was 10 and my dad was in the hospital having a brain tumor removed. They didn't think he was going to make it. A priest gave him his last rites and all. But thank God, he pulled through.
When the doctor saw me, I said I was Jim's fiancée. They told me that they were doing their rounds and to come back after I calmed down, in about a half an hour. I went and just collapsed on the floor while waiting for an elevator and just saw and cried. A woman started to talk to me telling me that everything would be okay. She asked me what happened and I told her the whole situation.
When I went back to Jim's room, another doctor came in and began to tell me what was going on. They had found heroin, needles, and Xanax in Jim's possession - I honestly don't know how he wasn't arrested. They had a breathing tube down his throat. Luckily, it looked much worse than it was. When Jim woke up, he was so happy to see me there. He tried to talk but I told him not to. I told him that I loved him. I stayed until visiting hours were over. I didn't want to leave and the doctors and nurses were very understanding. They let me stay for an extra half hour. Jim was asleep when I left. He was released the next morning and I was extremely disappointed to find out that as soon as he left, he went to cop.
My birthday was three days after the accident. Jim came in to visit me at school that Thursday, April 28th, two days after the accident, during the break I had between classes. We went to Fairmount Park where, for the first time, he shot up in front of me. He was going to be leaving to go to rehab. It was very bittersweet for me. As much as I didn't want him to be on drugs, I selfishly didn't want him to be away for my birthday the next day. But then I realized that it probably would be the best birthday gift that he could give me. After spending a bit of time together, we said our goodbyes.
The next day I didn't have much to do, as the day before was my last day of class before finals. I don't really remember what I did. I took a nap at one point in the day. When I woke up from my nap, I had a missed call on my phone...from Jim. Huh? He's allowed to have his phone in rehab?! I didn't think he could. I called him back. Boy was I in for a surprise. He left rehab.
