Friday, April 24, 2015

Hitting Bottom

Nothing new happened in May. The month passed. Jim and I were still getting high. I completed my court case from my April arrest in the beginning of June. The day after my case was closed, Jim and I went to buy some dope in Kensington because our guy wasn't answering his phone.

I went to make the transition. At first, no one was out. After checking out a few spots unsuccessfully, I went to leave. As I was walking up towards Lehigh Ave, an older Spanish guy approached me and asked what I wanted. I told him dope then he asked if I had a cigarette. I gave him one and he pointed someone out to me. He called me over and I went into an abandoned lot, completely out of sight. I got a couple bags and left.

As I got to the corner where I would turn, a car pulled over and the guy asked me for directions. I had a bad feeling but I told him where the street was that he asked for. He said, "Okay, I turn here then go how far?" As I was telling him again, another guy grabbed me from behind. They were undercover. He searched my bag and found the dope. I was cuffed and put in the car. They drove up a block or two and did the same thing to another guy, then got the dealer.

They wound up locking up around ten people. We were all taken to the 24th/25th district and processed. I was taken to the roundhouse after a couple of hours. When I got there and was having my intake interview, the guy realized I was pregnant after I told him when my LMP was. They sent me to the hospital for evaluation. I was at the hospital for a few hours trying to convince me to start on methadone. I refused, telling them that I had no arrangements for my child at home and wouldn't be able to stay in the hospital for several days. They released me and I was taken back to the roundhouse. Luckily, not only did I fall asleep when I was there but I also had my appearance before the judge shortly after returning, maybe an hour or two. I was released on ROR again, but was also placed in AMP - Accelerated Misdemeanor Program. I had court on July 3rd.

I just spent May and June getting high. Eventually, enough was enough. I couldn't keep this up. It was bad enough I was putting heroin into my own body, but also into my baby's? I was just a scumbag. I hated myself. I resented Jim for dragging me into this lifestyle. I decided to get help.