We moved in on a Monday. We spent those first few days getting high. I don't remember too much except not having sex that night, which I was mad about. The next day, Valentine's Day, my monthly friend made her visit (this is important, it leads up to the end of the month). That Friday, we both went to work like usual, but we had to get our fix first so we would feel okay at our jobs. Jim picked me up after I was done and we went to our spot. I stayed in the car a block away while he went to get it.
About twenty minutes went by and Jim wasn't back yet. I didn't want to call him because it just doesn't look good when you're making a drug deal. I waited like ten more minutes, watching people walking by looking at me. I knew they were thinking, "Only one reason why a little white girl is around here." I finally called him. No answer. I called several times, sent a few texts. No response. Jim got locked up. I just knew he did. I got into the driver's seat and fired up the engine. It was my first time driving.
I circled the block and as soon as I turned onto the street that Jim went to, I saw a cop car. I drove by, trying to look in the cop car. I couldn't tell if he was in there or not. I circled around a few times before deciding to head home (the cop had left after my first trip or two around). On my last drive by, the dealers were right back out. I didn't get anything - Jim had all of our money, plus I didn't know how to shoot myself up. When I got back into our neighborhood five minutes later, my phone rang. It was Jim. They let him use his phone to let me know he was arrested. I had a lot of trouble sleeping that night.
The next morning, I overslept and was running late for work. I knew I wouldn't make it on time if I took the bus, so I decided to drive there. I did a pretty damn good job driving too. A few hours through my shift, I got a text from Jim. He was released on ROR. He got to my job, got the keys, and went to get a bag. He picked me up when I was done and went to get more. It was my first time going up to the dealers on my own. This continued until the last week of February, when Jim got a call that his job was starting back up. We decided to start taking Suboxone.
We took the subs for I think 5 days. On February 26th, I was feeling really down. I had a baby shower to go to for my friend Kim, the one who introduced us. It was also my due date for the first baby that I had lost. Jim took me to the shower and I had a nice time. After he picked me up, we went home to wait for my daughter to get home from her grandmother's house. We had sex for the first time since living in the house. Jim went I think the next say for a drug screening for his work. He passed. We celebrated him having his job back by getting high.
When my dad was a baby, his mother left him and his three sisters. She left my grandpop for another man. She wound up having two more children. About a week after we started to use again, my parents invited me to meet my dad's half-brother and half-sister. There were a bunch of us - my parents, two of my dad's sisters, I think my cousin's daughter. I forget who else. We went to a bar in the neighborhood where Jim, my dad's half-brother, bought everyone a round. I had a shot of Southern Comfort.
A few days later, I got this feeling inside of me that had happened three other times. It was around March 11th. I went to CVS to buy a pregnancy test. When I peed on it, it told me that I was once again pregnant.
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