Hello Heroin, My Name is Kim!

From everything I knew about heroin, I was expecting to feel it the second Jim injected it into my arm. I waited. I didn't feel anything. Jim was asking me if my body was starting to feel warm. Nope. After about 30 seconds, I started to get this weird taste in my mouth. Then, I felt the warmth. It spread throughout my entire body. It felt amazing! I had to pee. I got out of the car to pop a squat and could barely feel my legs. I couldn't believe I had never tried heroin before! It was such a great feeling!! We had sex in the car then went to get more dope and needles.

I knew I couldn't go home that night. We decided to spend the night at a hotel. During the half hour drive, I remember laying my seat back in the car. I wanted to talk, but couldn't. I don't even remember getting out of the car when we got to the hotel, or going to our room.

I didn't want to do it again after that, at least not right away. I was afraid of getting addicted to it. I was actually surprised that I wasn't addicted since I was always told that once you try heroin one time, you're hooked. One day, I texted Sam (we hadn't really spoken in a year except for a few texts and Facebook messages here and there) and told her that I had tried it. She told me not to do it anymore so that the same thing that happened to her wouldn't happen to me (I had hung out with her one day, sometime after my miscarriage and before I tried it). She finally admitted to me that she was doing heroin but I was surprised to learn that she had been doing it since around the time when my daughter was born. She got pregnant and got on methadone. She was about 5 months pregnant at this point.

About a week after the first time I got high, Jim and I got into a fight. I don't remember what the fight was about but I do remember getting high. Jim said that I should get high every time we fight because it relaxes me and makes me happier. It was probably after this that I started to use every day. I never did it by myself, always with Jim. I couldn't do it by myself anyway, I didn't know how to find a vein to shoot up. I tried one night; I must've stuck myself 20 times before giving up. It took some time before I figured it out. Jim and I got a house shortly after. We signed the lease on February 13th. I was definitely addicted to it by then.